7 Steps to a Fine Spa Experience

The Spa has elevated the old bang-‘em-up massage into an “experience” in self-indulgence, reality escape and psyche reconstruction not seen since the magic mushroom of 1970.

All over the world, spas are competing for the best services they can offer and as the shortage of skilled spa workers is massive, many women and men are justifiably wary of them. 

Fields of ignorance include getting stripped or not, smack and bang massages that will make them ache for days or whether they’ll get a male or a female therapist. 

Hmmmmmm.  Or just a simple concern on tipping for the service.

These may be simple issues for those already spa-ed out but for someone who has never been in a spa, they are quite intimidating.

Many new users haven’t a clue about the etiquette expected in the use of a spa. And often the spas themselves don’t really bother about etiquette. They just describe the treatments and the services which many times are just as alien to first-time users as an ayurvedic doughnut!

Here are a few tips to make you enjoy your Spa visit:

1. Have a spa tour.
Many spas enjoy showing you the rooms and other facilities they have as well as the products they use. All you have to do is ask. Spas want to reassure clients that they are professionals and not a hopped up chop shop.

They also like to explain the services and treatments they offer. Some spas are wellness centres as well so they offer a whole range of bizarre-sounding treatments that “cleanse” things many didn’t even know they had. They supervise diets routines and just generally promise to return you to a placid state of nirvana-like indifference.

If you are staying in a resort or ship, the tour is easy to do as you can just request to have a tour of the facilities once you have settled in. In very good resorts with excellent spas, you might need to call and book prior to arrival as often you may not get a schedule at the time of your stay. It is then easy to ask for a tour when you arrive and if you are not satisfied, just cancel your reservation.

Often, you see spas close to you or in a city where you are on holiday. Just go in and ask if you can have a tour. Most of them will accommodate you especially when they are not too busy.

2. Ask questions.
Some of your friends may be spa enthusiasts or some members of your family may have tried the spa experience. Ask them about their experience.

Another trick is to prepare your list of questions and call up a spa in your area. Ask your questions from one of the professionals in their staff. The more you know, the less intimidating it becomes. Besides, some of the massages may not be what you expect as different cultures have different ways of doing things so ask your questions and be clear about what you want and not want to be done to you.

3. Arrive early.
Most spas, when you book a treatment or a service, recommend that you come, at least, 30 minutes before your schedule. One of their staff will usually welcome you and offer a relaxing drink or a relaxing time in the pool, sauna or steam room. Check the walls for any indication of training certificates or awards.

4. Request a female or male therapist if you have a strong preference.
Spas will always accommodate this. Do so when you book, not when you are already in the therapy room as they may not have one of the requested gender available.


5. Ensure that the therapists are trained professionals.

Make sure, first and foremost, that the therapists have excellent training and experience and have not just learned the trade the week before. (That’s why you checked the walls...remember?)

You may or may not talk to them. They will always take their cue from you. If you signal that you enjoy getting to know them well, then be prepared for their whole life story. You also need to make them know whether the pressure is too much when they massage you or you want a stronger pressure used. Don’t wait until you squeal...talk!

6. Dress comfortably.
Leave your jewellery at home. It all just gets in the way. For massages, often they ask you to strip so they can do their job properly but if you are not comfortable, just talk to them and make it clear what you want. They will always adjust to what the customer wants. 

7. Relax and trust the professionals who are there to give you a great experience. 
Turn off your mobile phone and your mind machine and just let your body enjoy the pampering. 

8. Understand what you are paying for and accept it as your investment in yourself.
If the charge makes you worry, then it mars the experience and lessens the value. Go for value, like being in a mineral spring or a very relaxing environment with a million-dollar garden or view or a truly organic garden that provides the spas with fresh food. 

The general environment outside the spa is very important to your experience too. Floating out of the spa onto a Maldives Island or into a glorious villa garden just takes the whole experience and pushes it to another level. Give your partner one of life’s great experiences next birthday. It will stay longer in the memory than most gifts.

Celebrating Rain

Rain is very much a part of life. It quenches Nature's thirst. It brings to life many creatures and many landscapes. It gives people water, the essence of life. Can you imagine life with no water? So, how can life be without rain?

Rain in Central Park

Yet, we don't necessarily welcome rain. A rainy day is not my favourite, at all. It is wet and makes me feel dreary. But it has its own beauty, too. Have you ever watched when rain comes to the lake? It is like a shroud around the sun that still shines even with the rain.

Once, a wise woman told us that rain like the sun is there for us to enjoy. A few of us took this seriously and went out in the rain. We got wet but we had so much fun, walking in the hills and enjoying the streams as we sang the song of St. Francis, A Prayer for Peace. We were filled with so much joy. Just like when we lie on the dock to enjoy the sun. This time, we enjoyed the dripping of the rain on our faces, catching some of them on our lips and enjoying the feel of its cold caress on our bodies. 

In life, it is not always sunny. Times are there when rain comes and they come in torrents, in hurricanes, in storms, in typhoons and drench us, fill our souls with dread and pain. When this happens, we cover ourselves like we do when it rains. We protect ourselves and we stay in. We hide from it. We run away to take shelter. 

This is what we tend to do when misfortune comes. We avoid the difficulties that come our way. We run away. We hide. We don't want to look at it so we try to avoid it. Pretend these are not there. 

We label them with negative words. Crisis, adversity, strain, struggle, trouble, distress, mishap and what have you. They make me feel the negative in these words as I type them. We ask ourselves, Why? 

Negative Feeling about Rain

That was what the wise woman asked us when we were running to go in as the rain started. Why? 

We had been raised to think of rain as negative. We were told to go in each time it rains. We were covered to protect us from it. We do this with the sun but only when it is really intense. We go out and welcome it. We don't hide away from it. 

What about embracing rain in our lives? What about transforming its negative connotations by embracing it. Maybe when we embrace it fully as part of life, as part of us, joy will come.

Pain comes to life whether we run away from it or hide. It is there even if we keep it in. Our loved ones know when we are in pain and they want to be part of it. They, too, are in pain. They want to celebrate this with us. 

Yes, celebrate the pain. It is part of life. Many things, persons and incidents in life pain us but we try to hide this. We only celebrate joy, not pain. 

Pain and rain are there. It is up to us. Run from it? Hide it. Or, celebrate it.

Celebrating Abundance at Thanksgiving

Canada celebrates Thanksgiving earlier than the United States. Harvest is early in Canada given the Winter. So, this weekend is Thanksgiving weekend.

Thanksgiving. Source: aesta1

What do we really celebrate on Thanksgiving? I don't think we remember much the friendship of the natives who welcomed the first settlers to this land. Most of us have no experience of that. So, for us, what really is the true meaning of Thanksgiving?

Well, relax, breathe, open your arms fully to the world. Take in its abundance. Feel your unending breath, the rhythm of your ever pulsating heart, the beautiful scenes your eyes enjoy, the heavenly music your ears enjoy, and the magnificent taste your palate savours. This is only the start as you know. There are more there to be amused by, to be fond of, to be exhilarated with.

There is much more. We are in abundance. This is what Nature shows us. It keeps growing and giving when cared for, appreciated and cherished. So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  

The Joy of Slow-Paced Dining

The evening foot race in North American homes called dinner has almost ruined any incentive to cook well or for families to talk between mouthfuls or for the concept of enjoyment through living to eat rather than eating to live to come back into fashion.

Who knows what caused this. In the '50s and 60's the utter blah-ness of Kraft-based recipes (mayonnaise +cheese whiz + Kraft Dinner + Kraft mini-marshmallows) meant the capacity for speed eating was fundamental to survival.

Dining Out. Source: aesta1

Come the 80s and the 90s in the obsession of parents with ensuring children participated in every activity known to man from sports through arts and culture meant there was no time for food anyway and the inedible outcomes of fast food shops were standard fare and gulped down on the way to the arena.

Snack Galleries

Today, chairs are disappearing from tables and dining rooms have become snack galleries. Speed eating is an international phenomenon. 

Dining Today

Whatever we have gained through hyperactivity, we've lost in time to enjoy real food, to see good cooking as a pleasure, and to value conversation as an art and craft and not an opportunity to spew food chunks on your neighbour as you raced past.

Recent Dining Experience

Recently, I invited our grandson and his girlfriend to a celebration dinner. They just got engaged and I thought this merited a celebration. So, I asked them to choose a restaurant.

The day of the dinner, our grandson sent me a message of the restaurant's name and address. Lee Restaurant. I thought, "why are we going to a Chinese restaurant?" Not that I don't like Chinese food. I like it very much but our grandson's girlfriend is Muslim and pork often features in Chinese food.

However, I asked them to choose the restaurant so I went along. Lo and behold, I was in for a big surprise. The waiters ushered us to our table and explained what this restaurant is all about. It was all about sharing.

A Meal Meant to be Shared

I was impressed. Many times, we have to ask the servers if we could share and here they say it's that. You order the dishes and they're all meant to be shared. We were gruntled as that's how we want it to be.

We ordered drinks and I ordered the sangria. Drinks are not meant to be shared, only food. I just love the way they did the sangria, even better than what we had in Spain. Ok, different, not better.

Then the waiters came for the order and our grandson's girlfriend knew from some friends some of the best dishes. The waiter concurred so we enjoyed our drinks as we peeked at the delicious-looking food in the other tables. Oh no, we had oysters with our drinks. All the way from Nova Scotia, the seafood capital of Canada. It was heavenly.

Oysters from Nova Scotia

Our first dish arrived.

Server in Lee Restaurant

The server explained this Singapore fusion signature dish of the restaurant. As we tasted it, I can say it was magnificent if such a word can be used for food. Just take a closer look and if you don't salivate now, you don't count. You're not even to be welcomed in this restaurant.

Singapore Fusion Dish

The next dish. Spring Roll. You have to eat it wrapped in lettuce, the way the Vietnamese do it. 

Spring Roll

And the next. Achicken Dish with Pineapple.

Chicken with Pineapple

The dishes were so tasty. Lee Restaurant features the dishes of the famous chef Susur Lee. Want to know more about Toronto's famous chef, click that link. But better still, go to this King Street restaurant in Toronto and you will eat like a king.

We were so full by the time we finished those dishes so we had a pass on dessert. But the restaurant outdid itself again. Knowing we were celebrating an engagement, they came out with this ice cream for the two celebrants.

Engagement Dessert

Ah, I did not get a good picture of that, did I? But the restaurant shot up to its stars, at least, for me.

We tarried because we enjoyed ourselves. It was a nice evening. We paced our eating, enjoyed every dish as it was explained to us and overall, it was an experience of slow-paced dining.

Christmas and the Value of Giving

If there is ever a value that one should live by, it is the value of giving. Having a generous heart as well as a for-giving spirit will ensure a much happier life for you.

There is nothing like Christmas to bring this out and make it manifest in our lives.

Christmas Tree. Source: aesta1

The Giving Tree

One day I was given a book, The Giving Tree. It looked like a yawner, but I thought I would browse a few pages just in case the giver ever asked. I never put the book down until I finished reading it.

The key idea is that when we give to others without counting the cost or expecting anything in return, we get a lift so empowering that it can change our lives.

It's the old saw...the more you give, the more comes back to you. What goes around, comes around. Just keep giving and the joy you get back from life will make all the difference.

We are what we give, not what we get. Watch the 1951 "Scrooge" with Alistair Sim. E-bay always has a few knocking about at Christmas time. What a fantastic family lesson. Dickens said it all.

Gift Giving is Always An Occasion

It is a rite that follows tradition in many countries and cultures. In China, you can't give gifts in white as this is the colour of death. Or clocks as it marks your time here on earth (China) or an empty wallet or purse (Scotland).

At weddings in many countries, you have to give gifts in accordance with the status of the families you are giving it to. In Japan, gifts are wrapped so beautifully that you want to keep every wrapper you receive.

A Thai friend was just telling me that sometimes, in Bangkok, with the elaborate packaging that goes with everything and the time spent in making tiny flowers and decorations, the wrapper could cost much more than the gift.

But the time and care with which you prepared the gift are what really matters to the receiver. It expresses your level of caring. Mind you, the wrapping on a present by a four-year-old grandson may be the most precious of them all.

Many times though, we give but we expect a return. We get a little stuffy when people don't acknowledge the gift or if they don't writhe in excitement about its beauty.

Sensitivities peak during the unveiling process! Why so? Well, usually there is a bit of ourselves in the gift. We spent time looking for it. We thought carefully of what to get only to be dusted off with a smile or a "How nice". Maybe, we feel spurned when people do these to our gifts.

Once, I had this experience and though I still had to give after that, I just never put my heart into it. It was just an obligation and eventually, I just stopped. I lost the joy. Yes, I disappointed the giving tree.

So, why can't we just give without thinking of what we can gain? It is a gift, right? So, why not give it freely? This is the best thing to do but we know that often we are weighed and we are found wanting in this category.

Gifts. Source: aesta1

Giving Is At the Core of Our Lives

From the very beginning, our parents gave us life. Giving birth is one of the gifts we all can truly appreciate. And we know that our mothers have to risk their own lives to do this especially in the side streets of the developing world. This is the highest form of giving because it contains the highest amount of risk for the giver.

This is why we always celebrate births and we keep celebrating birthdays.

Every Christmas, in our family, we watch this movie. The grandchildren each have their own lines now and their parents as well. But we love the 1951 version best.

Scrooge's transformation from a mean unhappy man to one who gave to everyone and loved by all is a triumph over the sadness in life, our own and around us. Get your self this 1951 version and let your heart be touched.

Greed has so much to do with our present economic situation. We often forget that the only way we will never feel wanting is in giving who we are and what we have to make life better for everyone.

Our consumer world has made the physical gift more important than the spirit and care put into it. Still, we love to give and receive gifts no matter what we say. This has easily become the centre of every celebration.

A ritual is not complete without these gifts. So, let's make it more meaningful. Let's make it create a difference in someone's life.

A little thought and creative juice will make gifts matter to many people. These will be avenues for great values like love and caring, respect and appreciation, recognition of uniqueness and family spirit. Once, I was given a flute solo for Christmas. Another, a chance to walk a favourite dog. A granddaughter's painting will remain posted on the wall forever.

Thanksgiving is celebrated in many countries all over the world. Many countries have Thanksgiving celebrations in one form or another usually at the end of harvest.

This is one form of giving that we need to do as often as we can. We need to remember to thank ourselves for the good things we do as a reminder to do the same to others when they excel.

Gift People your Life Achievement

As we grow old, we think of legacies. As Presidents and business leaders leave their office, they think of what they can gift people to mark their leadership or just give back in a sense of thanks for the trust given them.

There are many ways to do this. We can gift something to charity, create our own memoirs, write our own books or create trusts that future generations can benefit from. Some show leadership in giving time and energy to others (Jimmy and Ros Carter, Warren Buffet, Bill and Melinda Gates).

Indeed gift giving is at the core of our lives and our culture. Each culture has developed its own rituals around gift giving for various occasions. They are all interesting and give a glimpse of what that particular cultural values.

Asian Gifts. Source: aesta1

Gift Giving in Asian Cultures

In most parts of Asia, gift giving is so much a part of the culture and for a Westerner who tries very hard to carry his or her own weight in the interaction, this can be easily misunderstood.

Most of Asia has a group based culture and gift-giving is a major mechanism to keep these relationships strong especially when they hardly move out of the place where their parents and grandparents were born.

Every family keeps score and stories are passed on from generation to generation how so and so helped them when they were in dire need and lists of wedding gifts and funeral flowers or money are kept and consulted when someone dies or get married.

With Asians, if you miss out on gift giving, you lose a mechanism to strengthen your network. You often wonder why Asians have big suitcases. Those are mainly for gifts and because families are super extended, several suitcases are required. Most of the time, gifts are kept in drawers for those who might have been forgotten. Often, though, they have their lists and these are checked when gifts are bought and packed.

The cost matters, too. Even if they often say that it is the thought that matters, the price is duly noted. But not having money is not an excuse. Asians give all kinds of things. Being there to listen and just be with someone will also be duly noted. Any help extended for that matter...even just your presence. Get into it and just go with the flow.

We like to give but we are not very good at receiving gifts. We had been hammered for years that giving is better than receiving so we are often not comfortable receiving gifts.

Receiving is An Art

Of course, we have been taught over and over that giving is better than receiving. Well, maybe, but let's think it through. Maybe it's time we learn how to receive, with grace, energy, enthusiasm, warmth and consideration. When people receive your gifts well, the joy is doubled in you.

The appreciation we give people for the time and care with which they prepared a gift matters so much to the one giving. I just caught myself yesterday when a friend led me to a favourite restaurant to buy my favourites. She is not wealthy and when she paid for it I was so embarrassed that I immediately lunged for my wallet. Then, I caught myself and thanked her.

Today, I will call her and let her know that we enjoyed the gift for dinner and my husband finished everything from the main course to desserts. I know the joy this would bring me and it is the finest gift that can be given to the giver. The gift itself is just the platform for appreciation, yours to the giver.

Here is the catch. We are told many times that it is good to give until it hurts, that it is not really giving yet when we give not from our lack but from our abundance. Sometimes, though, giving more may not help someone grow so knowing when to stop is also crucial.

Often, we see friends who just keep giving until they become so bitter because they feel overextended. They have sapped all the energy they have and have nothing more to offer. Here is where we need to know where to draw the line. What are we giving someone? Is what we are giving making them better persons or hampering their growth and their own becoming?
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It is good to take time out, stop and take a break and evaluate what we are giving, how we are affecting the other person and our own self. Is our giving making us a better person or a cynical old fool?

What our Monk Friend Told us About Giving

Yesterday, we had a talk with our friend, a monk in one of the Wats here in Phnom Penh. We got talking about his family. He told us how he keeps telling them that even if they are poor and that they may not be able to give material things but they still can give goodness, kindness, happiness and wisdom.
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This struck me and made me really think hard. Going home, I just showered people in the street with kindness and joy and I was a changed person when I arrived home. There was more life in me and more joy, too.

The Wisdom in Giving 

Giving is a manifestation of humanity in a world where fear and greed are the most important elements, giving is the antidote to both.

The real issue is whom to give, what to give, under what circumstances to give.

Once something is given, it takes on a new life...a different life...a lift to another human to achieve more. It becomes a magnet for good things to happen...takes an inactive resource and loses it to someone who can use it immediately to achieve something.
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In a world of egomania, giving is the last outpost of caring humans...it makes people think that they are part of a whole. It is so important that major religions mandate it, make it part of life as there is this realization that it is important to a person's life.

Halloween

Halloween has taken over many Asian countries. It is amazing how in a few years, the stores are full of Halloween decorations and on the day itself, people in various costumes going around trick-a-treating.

A friend sent this picture of her well decorated condo building in Manila.

Halloween in Manila

Here's a group from Iloilo, a city in Central Visayas, Philippines.

Halloween in Park Regency in Iloilo

Celebrate the Young Entrepreneurs of Asia

A Bar and Cafe Truck in Phnom Penh

Celebrate the young entrepreneurs of Asia, many of them struggling between jobs, classes and business appointments. Lucky for those who are able to get scholarships through family connections or those who have employers who understand their situation and allow them leeway in their schedule. 

Whatever their situation is, these people work very hard on very little resources. Many of them still support their families in the rural villages sending part of their earnings to them.

It is, however, very encouraging to see so many of these young people in poor countries try very hard to get out of poverty and establish themselves in small business. It is a rough start for many of them but they take the step each day. One day, in their own patient way, they too will reach the top.



Here are some interesting stories:

Entrepreneurship in Asia 

Mr. Ka is Asia